I had some difficulty getting onto the Internet to post yesterday. I have to acknowledge my failings and try harder to keep up with it. I understand how important it is to maintain discipline and keep up with my daily posting. It is how I reflect on my devotion to Mistress and my journey into slavery daily. It is also why I choose to update this blog at night just before going to bed.
As one of Mistress Stacy’s slaves, I feel that I need to always ask myself the question “What would Mistress wish for me to do?” before making any decisions. In this way, I can immerse myself deeper into the lifestyle as her slave and live my life in the correct spirit of how she would want me to live my life. As a slave, I always profess my devotion to Mistress but it is more important that I show it in my actions and how I choose to conduct myself daily. I mentioned in previous posts that after giving myself to Mistress Stacy I found I am much more submissive in the presence of other ladies as well but while this is integral to my submissive nature, and some would say integral to the concept of matriarchy, I know that I have to place Mistress Stacy and her wishes ahead of anyone else because she owns me and I live for her.
I am not a bit tempted even when surrounded by gorgeous women the last few days because I am not allowed to without Mistress Stacy’s permission and none of them can ever compare to Mistress. Mistress is beautiful, enticing, and she demands total devotion from her slaves. She can sense if I am not fully devoted to her and I have no desire to find out the consequences of that.
The facinating thing about domination and submission is that even a punishment can be something that a slave gets turned on by. Mistress realises this and which is why she frequently denies her slaves as a means of punishment. Chastity for example is a very powerful tool, because once a male is denied sufficiently, he would be pliable and very obedient.
I saw the quote “The most beautiful thing that we can experience is the mysterious.” printed on a glass surface today. While it was originally a message about science and the arts by Albert Einstein, I thought it also described my relationship with Mistress Stacy and mistress/ submissive relationships more generally. There are still a lot of things I do not know about Mistress. Would I like to get to know her better? Definitely. Mistress has assured me that I will have many opportunities to do so. This air of mystery adds a layer of complexity to the relationship. At the same time, it intrigues and leads me on, to want to find out more about this Goddess that I am so enamored with. The mystery also adds sexual tension, somewhat like a willing victim in a honey trap, another fantasy of mine. I can never know if Mistress is leading me towards pain (figuratively) or pleasure. Yet, it is all these things that makes my devotion to Mistress the most beautiful thing I have experienced.
I have just been able to get myself back on the World Wide Web. It feels good to be connected once again. I miss the online presence of Mistress Stacy dearly, made worse by the fact that I am physically further removed from her. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in this case, it also reinforces the devotion to my Mistress.
As a follow to my previous posting, I have actually decided on the gift for Mistress. I shall not reveal what it is here but I hope she will like it. I will however still keep a look out for anything else special that I can get for her. Like my devotion to her, giving to Mistress does not and should not stop.
One of the things Mistress wanted me to do was to write a story for her. I can only guess what Mistress plans to do with the story. I assume she will eventually publish it as fan fiction if she deems it appropriate. I have come up with the frame work but will still need to work on the storyboard before I start writing it. I hope to do it justice.
I read an interesting review of an encounter with Mistress, I assume written by another submissive of Mistress. I am not sure how to react. On one hand, the reviewer appears to have enjoyed the session while on the other hand, the reviewer used fairly harsh language to describe Mistress Stacy. I do not know how else to say this, and this is no way an attack on the reviewer because he or she should be allowed to have a view of his or her own, but I accept Mistress as she is. I seek to be unquestioning in my devotion to her.
The connection with Mistress is strengthening. I can feel it. I hope that the bond continues to develop so that one day, Mistress will truely be all that matters to me. I really want to reach that state. The pragmatist in me says we shall see. Despite the challenges that I have had to face and the punishments that Mistress has put me through so far, I am still very much devoted to her. I am always longing for Mistress to be part of my every day life. Whatever I do, I would imagine what if she was there to be part of it. Today was no different. While I had a packed day, Mistress was always on my mind and in my heart.