I am not a bit tempted even when surrounded by gorgeous women the last few days because I am not allowed to without Mistress Stacy’s permission and none of them can ever compare to Mistress. Mistress is beautiful, enticing, and she demands total devotion from her slaves. She can sense if I am not fully devoted to her and I have no desire to find out the consequences of that.
The facinating thing about domination and submission is that even a punishment can be something that a slave gets turned on by. Mistress realises this and which is why she frequently denies her slaves as a means of punishment. Chastity for example is a very powerful tool, because once a male is denied sufficiently, he would be pliable and very obedient.
Mistress made me hump the toilet seat today. This is unlike the last time where I only had to put my cock under the toilet seat. I actually had to thrust my hips back and forth. It was awkward to say the least. It was never going to be easy without an erection from the start and it got painful to the end. On hindsight, some form of lubricant would probably have helped. This adds to the list of the things I would do at Mistress’ command. It was humiliating and very animalistic. it reminded me of my dog humping furniture at home. He would do almost everything. Am I only as good as an animal now?
Today was uneventful but that meant I had a chance to take a step back and reflect further on my relationship with Mistress Stacy. I think I can proudly say that I am already enslaved by her. It may not be absolute obedience yet but we will get there. A few days ago , Mistress enquired about the extent that I would go to please and amuse her. The question in a nutshell was whether I would willingly violate my boundaries at her orders. The example scenario was whether I would swallow the cum of another male slave. I would loathe to do it. my biggest concern would be that if I forced myself to obey something like that, then it might be counterproductive to all my obedience training leading to a breakdown of our relationship. I do wonder what other slaves think about this topic?
Time really goes by quickly. The month is nearly up and the long awaited next meet up with Mistress is tomorrow. Arrangements are in place and the anticipation has been building. It will be a dinner meet up and whatever happens after I can only guess. I expect to be mindfucked and am therefore actually quite fearful of what Mistress will make me do when I am in her presence. At the last meeting, one thing led to another and I found myself simply obeying her every instruction somewhat mindlessly. I yielded almost all control to her. I will of course share some after the event details if Mistress permits me.
I asked Mistress Stacy if I could stop edging and kneeling in the toilet. I must admit, I was surprised that Mistress agreed to one of the request (but not the other, which is why I am kneeling while publishing this journal entry). After today, I would not need to edge myself the mandatory five times a day. Over the last couple of weeks, because of this task, I had to ensure that my work meetings were properly scheduled so that I could edge myself as per the required intervals. I am grateful for the grace show by Mistress. Separately, I allowed myself a smile when I found out Mistress gave me a shout out on her Instagram post for my willingness to tribute her.