I hope to be able to reflect on how I can be a better slave over the next few days while travelling. I should have some time to myself to think about things. I feel that while my obedience training is going well, perhaps I might still be lacking in some other areas. At the same time I am aware that how I develop is not of my choosing but what Mistress Stacy has planned for me.
Today was uneventful but that meant I had a chance to take a step back and reflect further on my relationship with Mistress Stacy. I think I can proudly say that I am already enslaved by her. It may not be absolute obedience yet but we will get there. A few days ago , Mistress enquired about the extent that I would go to please and amuse her. The question in a nutshell was whether I would willingly violate my boundaries at her orders. The example scenario was whether I would swallow the cum of another male slave. I would loathe to do it. my biggest concern would be that if I forced myself to obey something like that, then it might be counterproductive to all my obedience training leading to a breakdown of our relationship. I do wonder what other slaves think about this topic?
Mistress has always encouraged me to use this blog to express how I feel as she trains me and I do try to do it whenever I can. I was reminded today that when you give something a chance, then there is a possibility that the person, or thing in my case will come good. The thing I am referring to is an aerosol can of shaving foam that did not dispense well since I bought it. There was some issue with the gas pressure inside. I could have easily thrown it out but I continued using it. This morning I realised that it was working perfectly! It had somehow “fixed” itself. On reflection, I would like to draw a parallel to a small incident today. In our email correspondence, Mistress mentioned she was going to do her nails. Spontaneously, I volunteered to sponsor her manicure session. Even though I later found out the amount I volunteered was not sufficient, I was extremely plessed that I was so willing to give to Mistress. If Mistress is reading this, I hope that Mistress will persevere with me such that one day I will come good and prove myself worthy of You.
I feel that I am falling behind in my slave training. This is probably the first time that I am admitting it. I realised this while I was having a coffee on my own this evening and reflecting on a few things. The reason is probably obvious. I have not been able to tribute enough on a regular basis. I can only blame myself for being so inadequate. I can only be grateful to Mistress Stacy for still allowing me to be part of her stable of slaves. There are so many others who would go above and beyond to win her attention. One only needs to look at Mistress’ closed Instagram account to see evidence of this. From a submissive’s perspective, I admire how my peers are willing to photograph themselves in very compromising situations to prove their unyielding devotion to our Mistress.