Journal Entry – Friday, 11 August 2017

I had some doubts creep into my mind today. I had to ask myself whether my submissiveness is driven by sexual desire or am I submissive in nature as I thought myself to be. It could also be a combination of both since I am sure I will still want to continue serving Mistress Stacy if she stopped using my sexual desires and fetishes to control me. Using my desires to manipulate me and train me is a means to an end, perhaps the clearest path towards achieving absolute obedience. Alternatives would be for example extreme physical punishment to break me. In the end, the answer is probably not as important but it is still interesting to discover more about myself.

Journal Entry – Tuesday, 18 July 2017

I self discovered many BDSM concepts and realised my fetishes since a young age. Looking back, it is facinating. I wonder if it is because humans have an instinct for all things sexual or if there is a specific natural inclination for domination and submission. My journey of self discovery included dreams, popular culture, and the media. It was only later on that the internet became an additional resource. Now I have Mistress Stacy to lead me. I have shared with her some details about how I came to realisation that I am a submissive. She understands me.